Profound changes in life, such as shifting old bad habits or false beliefs and overcoming trauma, illness, or loss, sometimes come with epic battles between darkness and light, and they normally happen in the silence of our own rooms with no one aware of them.
If you have ever faced a situation like that, you probably felt very lonely, even when surrounded by many people.
This loneliness usually comes from the feeling of not being listened to or understood by others.
And we don’t listen to or understand others because we are not trained to help each other in moments of pain and uncertainty.
We have been trained to deny serious problems, pretending that they don’t exist. We close our inner eyes and wait for the problem to magically disappear.
Or we choose to defer the struggles, hunting for someone else to blame. And we close our inner eyes and wait for the scapegoat to carry away our pain and sorrow.
Or we minimize others’ suffering, making it look unimportant. This is an invitation to numb the pain, and we close our inner eyes to ourselves and wait for the winter soul to disappear automatically.
All of these are wounds we bring on ourselves out of a desperate desire to numb the pain.
Many times, I have been asked:
“Why, why do I need to face my most horrible fears? Why do I have the feeling that everything is wrong, and everybody is against me exactly in the situations where I am making meaningful life changes?!”
From some beautiful ancient explanations, I often recall the lovely story that tells us that we need to descend in order to ascend.
When the Universe was created, some sparks were imprisoned inside shells and fell down.
To break the shells and lift the sparks, we must dive deep into the shadows.
The darkness might look stronger because we are in its realm, but the truth is, we don’t belong to it.
This fact must be clear in our hearts before we go down and before we are lost in profoundness, so we may find our way back to the light.
I know, by experience, that good things in life can come from lightness, love, and joy. But I also know that hardships are an essential part of our journey.
When they come, to navigate through these burdensome moments, there are two options: stay in the darkness, or try to find a way out.
It is difficult to be ill and be brave. Especially when doctors and caregivers speak of numbers and chances, the possibility of not surviving, emphasizing death rather than your life’s force, your inner strength and health.
It is challenging to face uncertainties and not feel anxious. When you are a professional that should show an unscratched surface of control. When you are in charge of your family and have no space to express your very human fears and flaws.
It is heartbreaking to feel depressed, sad, or lonely and not be able to explain why you feel that way. When you cannot understand what is going on with yourself and you long to know the meaning of your life. When you feel lost not knowing how to deal with your own pain. When you face judgement and misconceptions that you are weak or ungrateful for the things you have.
I know that all of these are terrible and distressing, but I assure you that you are capable of rising above, overcoming difficulties and making your way back to who you are, stronger than ever.
Keep in your mind and heart a few things I want to share with you:
- Acknowledge your difficult moment as it is. This is the first torch of light you lit when in darkness. This is the first step to climb out of your pain.
- Seek help. Look for the helpers that believe in you, that can hold your hand and actually listen to you, not only with their ears, but also with empathy and heart-centered presence. Seeking help is an act of courage, the decisive one that connects you with your life’s force and reminds your disheartened heart that life is worth.
- Forget about the numbers. Numbers are good, but they are meant to be seen with relativity, meaning that if 99% of people experience something and you are among the 1% that experience something different, that 1% is your 100%.
In other words: you are not a number, your life is unique, and nature is rich with exceptions and wonderful, unexpected things that happen every little second. You are one!
And remember, there is no magic formula.
Every person and every battle deserves to be looked at as unique and singular. However, keeping your self-awareness and focus on the light is essential.
Candidly, I may look very brave in my battles or while helping others to deal with pain and navigate through obscure times, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel pain. It just means that I close my ears to my fears, so I won’t be distracted by them. I gather my strength from every corner of the Universe and keep my focus on victory.
Losing is not an option for me or for some others, but staying in the darkness is a choice for many others and must be respected and honored.
Yes, you read that right.
And so we make our choice, and so we move on in our own pace and direction.
The good news is, once you have visited hell and found your way out, you always know your way back to the light, even in the most hopeless situations.
You will always remember who you are, where you belong, and where you come from.
To all my clients, family, and friends, to all with whom I have the honor to share life, and to you reading this right now, traveling through my words: I wish you a different day.
My hope is that today you take a moment to embrace yourself as who you are, reconnect with your inner strength and to do something you long to do, not because you have to, but because you deserve to.
Wishing you Light and Courage,